Catching Fire in the Darkness

Happy New Year!   I’ve been considering the play of darkness and light, noticing how the deepest velvety darkness forms the perfect backdrop to showcase the ignition of the light.  I appreciate the light more against the darkness.   2012 is the year of the Dragon.  I’m thinking that there is lots of fire and transformation on it’s way for each of us.  The deeper the darkness the more important it is to have the foundational support you need to cultivate light.  As leaders, we must stand in witness to the darkness and hold a perspective that allows us to consciously lead ourselves and others through.  We catch fire, and then carry the torch that lights the path.  It’s not about fiercely chasing away the darkness with light, more a dance of initiation, honoring the light with appreciation as it ignites. May we savor the contrast and appreciate the true beauty and  intensity of both.

This year I’m committed to catching fire, welcoming both darkness and light.  I”m going to balance both with gentle, firm intention. What’s your year about?   If you want to be crystal clear regarding the vision, growth and transformation you are welcoming, there are a few spots left in my annual beginning of the year private coaching program.  See  An Opening to 2012 to register now.

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Christmas Tree Moonrise

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Effervescence is our true nature. It’s in every cell of our being. Whenever we find ourselves heavy or stuck, it’s so vital to return to the effervescent, vivacious, enthusiastic energy that is at our core.

What does it mean to lead with authentic effervescence? First of all, it can’t be faked. We all feel suspicious of the faux version; that icky over-exuberant forced peppy variety. “Fake it until you make it” does not apply. What I’m talking about, is going deep within your being and accessing the energy that is bubbling there and then leading with easy vitality and freshness…ALIVENESS!!!!

This week, ask yourself, What evokes my full hearted sparkle?
Here’s my list.

• Being true to myself, engaging in what makes me come alive.
• Daily spiritual practice: meditation, yoga, walks in nature.
• Taking care of my well-being in every way.
• Honoring my unique values.
• Focus
• Courage
• Living my purpose.
• A really good night sleep.
• A grande soy latte as I walk along the Seattle waterfront to my office.
• Sunshine on the water.
• Kevin
• India
• Generosity

What’s on your list?

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Photo courtesy of Byrne and Flickr

Jeaneen overlooking the distant land of Toronto

Ann Betz, a friend and colleague on the faculty of the Coaches Training Institute, wrote this poem that beautifully describes the experience I aspire to create for my private Executive Coaching clients.

Invitation

There is a door I want to pass through
and you’ve offered
to hold it open for me so I can stand
and look at a distant land.

It’s bright there and fun and terrifying
and as you gaze at me with steady eyes
you never stop saying
“I see you here”

And this statement of belonging
which you speak so matter-of-factly
buoys me, calms my heart
and carries me over
the threshold to where I want to be

~ann betz

Ready to begin being coached?  Email me at jrs@jrscoaching.com

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Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

Everyone so unique

Wow, everyone is so different!  Try this viewpoint when you are tempted to judge or when you are rocked by unexpected reactions to your leadership.  This perspective generates curiosity and openness, which are guaranteed to get you a better outcome than defensiveness or intense convincing that your thinking is the BEST.   Even if you are convinced you have the best solution, chances of it being accepted (and implemented) are WAY better if you at least acknowledge the other’s perspective first, right?

I’ve been revisiting the 5 Top Strengthfinder Strengths  with my private executive coaching clients.  Not one person has the same Strengths.  If we celebrate our unique strengths and co-create our contributions from there, we’ve got a huge probability of success.

Wow, Everyone is so different!   Remember this, especially with those close to you.  Our differences are indeed what create the spark of attraction between us.

Everyone the same, BORING…and who wants that?

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Many different courses are possible!

I feel stuck.   Stuck is really hard for me.  One of my highest values is freedom.  I feel stuck because I am holding on to strategies, which need to change.  I am holding on when what is really needed is to let go so something new can emerge.  As I tighten my grip, the intensity (and drama) escalates as I try to ward off the winds of change, which are in fact here to ultimately release the stuck place.  Crazy right?

A friend of mine reminded me of this fantastic sailing tip that is of great support in getting through intense situations.  It is simply this:  When a big gust hits and you are getting blown over, the last thing you want to do is pull the sails in tighter.  You need to remember to let everything go… and, here’s the cool part, simply allow the boat to right itself and choose a new direction.  If you have ever done this little maneuver in a strong wind you know it is a loud, sheet snapping affair that can seem pretty chaotic and it DOES WORK!!!!

So much of our lives are subject to unpredictable change. (Obvious newsflash, I know.)  It is no longer the kind of world where you can be successful just by focusing on strategy, hard work and having great people around you.  All this helps, for certain AND you can still get in big trouble if you hold on too tightly.  When the huge billowing gusts of change blow through providing what is intended to be welcome relief and fresh inspiration, you gotta be able to let go and allow your boat to right itself.

Once your boat is upright, choose a new course. There you have it…you are now un-stuck!

Wow…wouldn’t that be a courageous approach?

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Crossing a rocky stream in one movement

First of all, I acknowledge that I dropped the “regular blog posting” ball for the whole month of August.  Yipes!   I was completely immersed in my work with my private coaching clients, my mid-year private mini retreats and yes, the lovely days of summer.  When the sun did peak out, I was oh so ready to spend time on the beach, which I did, without apology… until this moment of truth.

One of the themes of the last month has been personifying and empowering the voice of the True leader within and surrounding that voice with a wise integrated support team of clearly identified inner allies. In this way, we can more easily recognize their wise voices and our True Leader can confidently move forward with resonant choices.  All this is for the sake of minimizing frustrating time spent stuck in fear and indecision. This transformative work has led me back to my favorite poet, David Whyte, who styles for us a valuable inner ally.

Click here for a 3 minute audio I recorded of his poem, which I have recited to many beautiful people in many beautiful places over the past month.  Sit back and enjoy…and then ask yourself:

• What bridge have you come upon, that has you paralyzed by fear and indecision?
• How might you follow your Old Interior Angel across it in one movement?
• What is her old secret?

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Secret Society 2011 Coaching Circle Accessing Deep Wisdom during their July retreat.

Everywhere I look, there is major construction.  Not just resurfacing or refinement, but major blasting apart and hauling away of the pieces.  I’m witnessing the kind of construction that feels like it takes a good deal of time because what is being created is such a significant improvement.  It has me realize that to evolve into what’s next we have to be willing to have things be really messy for a bit.  We need to know what the vision is. We don’t have to do everything  perfectly of course, but we do need a plan that can be adjusted as needed.

The kind of re-construction that I am championing takes maintaining access to deep wisdom on a sustained and on-going basis.  It takes support, it takes refinement and, oh yes, it takes some mighty courage.

In our leadership and life, periods of re-construction are essential to our growth and professional development.   How to do this when we have to keep all our balls in the air?   Well, the only path I know is through curious inquiry, wise reflection with another and deep listening to the clues that are all around.  Rule number one is…you can’t get there running around in your own head entertaining the voices who’s sole purpose are to keep you stuck.

All right.   There are just a few days left to register for Private Renew, Refocus and Re-engage Sessions.  Guided re-construction plans like this one, only happen mid-summer.  What say you?

Contented sunflowers

Some friends, who I haven’t seen for a while, dropped by for an unexpected visit on Saturday.  It was a bit of a rescue mission, I think, as I had expressed frustration that things were not exactly as I had hoped they would be earlier in the week.  What a wake up call to realize I had been complaining amidst the bounty of miraculous things that are indeed precious to me and um…pretty much on track.

Today, I heard this great phrase from my coach Laura West.  She said, “When you feel frustrated you are resisting who you are becoming.”

This got me pondering. The key to connecting back to the goodness of who we are actually becoming is noticing and yes, celebrating who we are being.   To get there we must be very kind to ourselves and yes, hit the inner “reset button” when we veer off track into frustration.   Especially if we find ourselves complaining about something that is indeed, pretty amazing, but simply isn’t happening fast enough, BIG enough or unfolding in a way that matches our specific expectations.

This week, notice when you are resisting, feeling stuck or complaining and turn toward celebration of what IS working.  Turn toward self-acknowledgement for all the ways you are showing up for you, even though the conditions may not be ideal or fit the specific picture you had envisioned.  (A picture that may simply need to be shifted, by the way.)

Hit your inner “reset button” and savor deep contentment for what is.

Special Invitation:  I have a few private midsummer sessions left for those of you who are craving an inner makeover that will support you in recognizing (and then celebrating) all that you are creating, letting go of what is no longer serving AND unleashing unstoppable momentum in a resonant direction in the months ahead.  To say yes, click here for details and registration.

P.S.  These sessions only happen once per year and once they are filled…well, that’s it.